


If only (you'd be with me forever)

by kihoandjackbumshipper



Series: KiHo for the win [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, I'm not tagging to not give more details, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 14:42:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14310945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kihoandjackbumshipper/pseuds/kihoandjackbumshipper
Summary: KiHyun remembers the hard times.





	If only (you'd be with me forever)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! This is my first KiHo ever! And the first submition to KiHo monthly too^^  
> The theme is: hurt/comfort. I'm not sure if this fitted it at all... hope you like, tho kkk

There was a special way in how Hoseok loved KiHyun. Or that was what the later thought while seated across the kitchen, eyeing his boyfriend making breakfast for both of them after a night full of honeymoon feelings.  
They've waking up with tangled limbs and bundled up covers, sunlight slipping through the curtains as they tried to continue sleeping with their faces hidden against each other's chests.  
—KiHyunnie~  
Hoseok only murmured his name but it's all that he needed to distract KiHyun from his dreamy thoughts.  
—Yeh?  
—Help me with this, honey. I'm almost done.  
The younger followed the finger with what Hoseok was pointing the last remnants of their maple syrup and the kettle that was already boiling.  
—Oh, right. Sorry.  
With sleepiness still dizzying his mind, the red-almost-peachy haired man stood up quickly to grab the items and put them over the breakfast table.  
—Don't worry —Hoseok said, finishing the plate full of pancakes and placing it in front of KiHyun, who was almost growling with hunger.  
He waited patiently for the older to take out his pink apron, put it in the nearest surface and sit across him.  
—Let's eat!  
Hoseok could only giggle seeing his cute, happy boyfriend take a pancake covered with syrup, roll it, grab it and bring it to his mouth that, even open widely, wasn't prepared for such a mouthful of food. But KiHyun was nothing but a stubborn young man who wanted to eat everything at the same time, while seeming like the perfect copy of a cute hamster (a fact the guy would deny until the day of his death).  
—Are we hungry, aren't we? -The dark haired man asked playfully as he grabbed a piece of pancake with his fork and munched over it, a grin still gracing his lips.  
—Oh, shut up.  
KiHyun really hated disrespectful people but it didn't stop him from speaking with his mouth full of pancakes, and coffee when he took a sip of it, dropping honorifics just because he could.  
Those were typical things they did on weekends: just stare at each other while enjoying the days off spending as much time together as they could.

Years had passed when the perspective of even being able to go on a date publicly was a luxury they couldn't even ask for.  
Now, when their life as famous artists was a part of their past, they're still relishing on the fact nothing can be taken for granted. One day they're together, and the next they won't anymore. That's why KiHyun sometimes left his mind wonder in all of those 'what if' people around him had asked him more than once.

Quietly, both of them ended their breakfast and helped each other clean the table and wash the dishes. KiHyun offered to do it since he really needed a distraction, and maybe Hoseok just sensed something was off with him, but he didn't try to help and only said he would take a shower.  
—You can join me when you're done —the older winked before disappearing through the bedroom door.

As he washed the dishes absentmindedly, memories of their first days filled KiHyun's mind.  
Back to those times, they were fighting against their friends to get a chance to finally debut and make their dreams come true. It was hard, because as hours, days and weeks passed by, there was this strong and undeniable bond that kept them one near the other, like opposite poles of a magnet that made it impossible for the boys to stay away from each other more than the strictly necessary.  
They being paired up together through three missions were destiny, KiHyun always believed, and the fact that they won every single one of them was a gift. Thanks to the effort they put together to make things better for their groups, their relationship kept growing to the point one of them would do the first move and everything would change.  
Those were the most frightening parts of their relationship.  
—I'm sure he loves you as much as you do, Ki —MinHyuk kept telling him, trying to convince his friend all the effort was worth it.  
—But what if he does, but none of you accept us as a real couple and we end up ruining everyone's dream because of our selfishness? I'm not sure I'll be able to put up with it.  
—Hey, hey. You're getting ahead of what the rest of us may think. And you haven't even tried to talk with Hoseok-hyung. What the hell, KiHyun-ah?  
The named fidgeted with the hem of his sweater, unable to look at MinHyuk's faces.  
—You know you can count on me, right? —The slightly younger nodded—. And you know none of us will judge you nor let the people hurt you or Hoseok, right?  
—I know, Minnie. Is just there are so many things I don't want to put in a dangerous situation.  
—But you should be selfish. You deserve this. Hoseok-hyung deserves this. Your happiness is worth everything, really.  
—Thanks you.  
And even if KiHyun would have wanted to say more, his throat didn't let him as his emotions created a knot he tried his best to loosen without success.  
MinHyuk understood him, though. They'd been friends for years now, and he didn't need a proper explanation to know KiHyun was having a hard time.  
—Do you need something? —MinHyuk asked as he made his way out of the bedroom.  
KiHyun said no shaking his head, as he hid his face in the pillow.  
He knew he should speak with his hyung, especially when they spent hours after hours working on Hoseok's music studio, recording demos for future songs of Monsta X, KiHyun cleaning the room as the other focused on writing "our next hit, KiHyunnie, I'm sure of it!", then going out to bring food for both of them -Hoseok always forgot to eat, more so when ideas kept flowing through his mind and he needed to catch them before they were gone-, and trying to put some of it onto Hoseok's mouth.  
And, even if it was tiring most of the time, KiHyun loved every single moment he was with him. It was like living in a stream, where nothing but them existed, and none could disturb their time together.  
But, as his Grannie always said him, you can't hide something forever, and one night he heard the words that changed completely his mind:  
—I can't be with him. HyungWon-ah, I can't risk any of this. I love him so much it hurts. I feel my heart broking a little more every day. And I know I should tell him, but manager-nim told me already: once it's discovered, I'm out of this. And I really can't afford losing all I have earned until now.  
If KiHyun's heart was hurting before, now it was completely shattered, tiny little pieces spread across the floor as he cried quietly.  
Hoseok was in love, but not with him. Could it be even worse?

—KiHyun?  
A muscled pair of arms appeared out of nowhere, embracing his body almost completely.  
—Honey, why are you crying? Something's up?  
The only sound KiHyun could muster was hiccups, tears falling down his cheeks as he tried, without success, to stop them.  
—Oh, my God. Baby, come here.  
Even in those situations, when KiHyun couldn't control his emotions, his love for Hoseok grew bigger and bigger seeing how his boyfriend carried him to the bathroom, took off his clothes and put both of them down on the tub.  
—It's okay, hon. Everything is okay. I'm here now.  
The warm water seemed to help, ad much as the firm body under his own, as KiHyun started to calm down, his sobs coming soon to an end.  
—I'm thorry.  
—Why?  
—For worrying you —a cry was heard again, but Hoseok didn't let it continue.  
His hands started to pad across the younger's chest, trying to bring him comfort.  
—KiHyunnie... do you remember those times?  
—What?  
—The first ones —Hoseok's voice resonated in the bathroom walls—, when we were scared, terrified, as we thought none would accept us.  
—Oh, yeah.  
—Even knowing it would be hard, one day I realized it was all worth it. You're worth it, hon. Even if my heart broke a bit every time someone told us horrible, homophobic phrases, at the end of the day I could only think of you.  
—Seokkie...  
As the older embraced the small frame of his boyfriend, a stray tear rolled down his cheek.  
—I don't want a future if you're not in it, KiHyun. We've shared the happiness and the sadness, even the most stupid things. But there's something more I want to share with you.  
KiHyun's heart stopped for two heart beats, then speeding up almost painfully.  
—Wha-what do you mean?  
With both of his hands, Hoseok moved him until their faces were mere centimeters away from each other.  
—I want to share the rest of my life with you.  
—Oh my-  
—Yoo KiHyun —he looked straight to his eyes—: Will you marry me?  
Maybe his face showed how much in shock he was, because Hoseok reacted immediately, kissing his lips to reassure him, once again, that everything was okay.  
—Oh my God.  
His mind was spinning with so many thoughts. He was feeling sad not so long ago, and now... KiHyun couldn't even believe what Hoseok had just asked.  
—Darling, are you okay?  
—Yes, yes.  
—What? Tell me.  
—I'm okay. I just- oh my God, Hoseok. I can't-  
—What? Why? Are you not ready? Because, if that's so, I won't force you to.  
—No. That's not. Is just- I can't believe my dreams will finally come t-true.  
If Hoseok was confused before, now he was almost in shock seeing KiHyun start to cry once again.  
—Baby, are you really okay?  
His boyfriend nodded, his face now hidden against his chest.  
—Okay. I believe you.  
Both of them stayed like that, KiHyun calming down his heart and mind, and Hoseok murmuring a few words of comfort, as his thoughts settled down too.  
—Hyung.  
—Yes?  
—I want to answer you now.  
—You sure? I can wait.  
KiHyun put his hands on his boyfriend's shoulders, the look in his eyes showing how much determined he felt.  
—But I don't. Yes, yes, yes! I want to share the rest of the days of my life with the sweetest boyfriend I've ever had.  
—St-top, you'll make me cry!  
—I love you, Lee Hoseok. I wanna marry you.  
Soon enough, his lips sealed his answer with a deep, lovely kiss, with a bittersweet taste as both of them cried of pure happiness.  
—I love you, Yoo KiHyun!  
—Hyung, stop! —The younger said between giggles.  
—I won’t! I’ll love you for the rest of my life!  
Still laughing, KiHyun kissed him once again, this time effectively leaving his boyfriend completely silenced.  
Those were the things that made KiHyun feel sure about Hoseok’s love for him; just as much as he loved his future husband. Now, they only had to think in the rest of their life together. But, like both of them knew, it was better to take one step at a time. And, with the other by their side, the rest could wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are gladly accepted!  
> You can come scream/talk to me about KiHo and Monsta X in twitter: NydiaCid <3  
> PS: Sorry for the shitty end, I suck on them, really T_T


End file.
